June 9th, approximately 3:30 pm
I was sitting on the couch relaxing, watching my recorded shows as it poured outside meanwhile browsing through pinterest (what else is new). I came across a pin that read something along the lines of "35 HEALTHY Energy Bars" in the main picture was a somewhat boring looking peanut-butter chocolate protein-like bar. Nonetheless I was intrigued. I clicked on the link and began to read through the beginning of the article. "Better than store-bought snack bars...", "All the flavor without the artificial sweeteners or GMOs!" I was even more accepting to this new idea. I was trying to be healthy, right? And I had just read something else somewhere on the internet that GMOs and artificial sweeteners are super bad for you, especially if you're trying to lose weight, sooo why not. Let me add in here that never ONCE in my life have a given a damn about artificial sweeteners, GMOs, gluten or any of the other new health fads so why I'm suddenly on the band-wagon is unknown to me.I read through the titles of the bars and four of them stood out to me: a pumpkin one, a peanut butter chocolate one (coincidentally the one from the main photo), a honey nut one, and a white chocolate raspberry cookie-like one. Over achiever me decided that I needed all of the ingredients in my house ASAP. So I decided at that point to go to Publix the next day after work.
June 10th, 3:45 pm
I made it to Publix as promised. Proudly I grabbed a basket (not a cart, surely it will all fit into the basket) and made my way to the furthest thing in the store that I needed, the nuts. Already this wasn't looking good. I was doing a rough tally in my head of the price as I went along, after almonds, peanuts, cashews, dried cranberries, and dates I was at about $22. But I talked myself back down and headed to the next isle because surely this would save me money in the long run and hey! I know what's going into these bars (let's not forget the lack of GMOs and artificial shit). After filling my basket about half way I reach the isle that has the cereal and nut bars. One of the bars I plan to make said on the recipe that it was a homemade KIND bar. KIND bars at Publix are $3.99 per box, each box contains 5. That's $0.80 per bar. Here I was a little let down. In my mind I'm putting in work and money when I could just buy this box for four bucks and call it a day. But my almost complete shopping list and the variety of items I'm going to make gave me the incentive to keep going. With this is mind I was slightly defeated as I approached the sugar and flour area. I was standing there, heavy basket in hand, staring at the sugar. No where could I find Coconut Sugar. No where. So I said screw it and decided regular suits me fine, it's not like I'm going organic or vegan or anything. Next: Oat Flour. Well I found this one. One shelf under the Coconut Sugar. And I didn't buy either one. First of all Coconut Sugar is $8 and change for a small bag- are you out of your mind?! The flour was $5 for a small bag as well. Neither package said anything that would make me believe it was any healthier than the stuff I already have at home. So because I do not eat strictly organic and I am not gluten-free or vegan I decided against these two. I finished up at Publix and left the register with a $62 receipt that accounted for four bags of groceries. Four. As I put them in my car I told myself that it's fine. If each recipe makes about 25 bars total (they'll probably make more but I don't want to set myself up for disappointment) and then with these ingredients I can make them each three times I'm at 75 bars. The KIND bars were $0.80/bar so then I would be at $60. That's close enough to breaking even- yet I feel like I'm trying to psych myself up. I guess we'll see.
6:38 pm
Pumpkin bars and half of the (not peanut butter) almond chocolate bars finished. The pumpkin bars made eight... I also didn't put them in the proper container. Instead of the instructed 8 inch pan, I divided the mixture into cupcake liners. This worked well enough for me and there was no cutting involved so win-win. The bottom half of the nutty chocolate bars is bland. This is disappointing.
June 15th
I finally got around to tasting the final product of the almond chocolate bars. The entire pan is getting thrown away. Maybe if you like dark chocolate mixed with shit it's good, but personally I don't. The whole mixture is flavorless and completely disappointing. The pumpkin bars on the other hand are yummy. They're kind of sticky but I eat it with a fork. They have to be stored in the freezer so the consistency stays; I would make these again. I need to make the other two bars but I just don't want any more disappointment, especially when I've invested so much into this.
June 29th 11:50 pm
Today marked one week since I began going to the gym and eating healthy, everything is still good there. In lieu of this I decided to make one of the other delightful protein bars. I just finished cleaning up. I made the white chocolate cranberry ones this time, they're my second favorite (not that the competition is strong or anything).They definitely have the feel of cookie dough, do they taste exactly like it? No. Not at all. But was I expecting that at this point? Definitely not. The mixture was really weird in the beginning because it was super crumbly and I was beginning to doubt it's ability to meld together; alas, it did. The recipe said to put the "cookies" on a sheet tray and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before consumption. I had a few issues with this bit of instruction: I don't have space in my fridge for that, I'm not eating them tonight so they need to be in an airtight container, I do not have said airtight container to store x number of cookies without them being mushed together. My solution to this issue? Shove all the dough into one tupperware container to later be portioned as I wish (aka I'll eat it with a spoon). This isn't something I can see myself gorging on, in the same way you can only have so many eggs or pancakes, you get full of it. But it seems okay. But so far just okay...
July 7th 10:30 pm
I have finally made it around to finishing the last of my four "healthy" snack/protein bars. This one is my favorite hands down. Before I dive into the details let me talk about the white chocolate cranberry one for a second. Like I said before, it's just okay. I can eat like a spoonful of it but that's all. It's hard to swallow after that, it's like something you don't want too much of, definitely. But I was trying it right out of the fridge, maybe at room temperature it's a little better. Either way it's not a complete failure. The bars I made today were the KIND bar copy cats- they're great. The molasses and honey mixture with the chocolate and the nuts, it's all great. They didn't stay together completely firm, but that's probably because they're missing the bad stuff (like maybe those GMOs?) that's in the store bought version. Also when I made it I didn't drizzle the chocolate over the top because my chocolate began to seize... so instead I just spread the chocolate on each of them, the more the merrier! This only makes eight bars, about one by two inches each, but I have enough nuts left to make eight more at least. I think you could also experiment with dried fruits or pretzels and different nuts for a wider variety. I liked this one so much from the very first step that I even snapped a few pictures!
Overall was this a complete failure? No. But would I spend this much on this big of a flavor risk again? Not a chance, especially when you consider the amount of bars each recipe actually made... So behold, the fabulous recipes that brought these joyous and wonderful flavors to my kitchen. I pass them on to you so you could put them in yours!
"Amazing" Energy Bars aka Almond Chocolate Shit
Almond & Coconut Layer
1 C Almonds
1 C Flour
2 Ripe Bananas
1 TSP Vanilla Extract
1 TSP Sea Salt
2 TBSP Coconut
Chocolate Layer
4 oz Dark Chocolate
1 small Avocado
2 TBSP Sugar or sweetener of your choice
1 TSP Coconut Oil
1/2 TSP Vanilla Extract
Blend the flour and the almonds in a food processor until fine. Combine the remaining ingredients for the almond layer and add the flour mixture to it until a dough is formed. Evenly press the dough into a 8-inch pan lined with parchment paper. Refrigerate while making the chocolate layer.
Blend the avocado, sugar, and vanilla until smooth, set aside. Melt the chocolate and coconut oil in a double boiler until a smooth mixture. Add to the avocado mixture and stir until combined. Remove the almond layer from the fridge and top with the chocolate layer, Refrigerate for 30 minutes before consuming.
Pumpkin Pie Energy Bars
1 C Pitted Dates
1/2 C Cashews
2 TBSP Coconut Flakes
1/4 C Vanilla Protein Powder
1 TSP Cinnamon
1/2 TSP Pumpkin Pie Spice
1/4 C Pumpkin Puree
Line an 8 inch pan with parchment paper. Combine all ingredients in a food processor. Continue to mix the ingredients until a smooth mixture is formed. The batter will be sticky so be patient while working with it. Smooth the batter into the prepared pan, use the back of a wet or greased spoon to smooth out the top. Freeze for 2 to 3 hours or until solid. Store in the freezer until ready to eat.
White Chocolate Cranberry Cookies
3 C Flour
2 scoops Vanilla Protein Powder
2 TBSP Sugar
1/2 TSP Sea Salt
1/2 Cup & 2 TBSP Peanut Butter
3/4 C Honey
1/2 C Milk
1/2 C White Chocolate Chips
1/2 C Dried Cranberries
Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper and set aside. Combine flour, protein powder, sugar, and sea salt in a large bowl and mix well. Heat peanut butter and honey in microwave until smooth and well mixed. Be sure to do this step on about 20 second intervals to be sure not to seize your butter. Add this to the dry mixture and stir until fully combined. Gradually add the milk, about a tablespoon at a time. Mix in the chocolate and berries. Form small balls and flatten them onto the cookie sheet (as you would snickerdoodles or peanut butter cookies). Place in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes.
KIND Bars Copy Cat
1/2 C Almonds
1/2 C Peanuts
1/2 Cashews
1/3 C Rice Cereal
1 TBSP Flaxseed
2 TBSP Molasses
2 TBSP Honey
1/2 TSP Vanilla Extract
1/2 TSP Sea Salt
1/2 C Dark or Milk Chocolate for melting
Line an 8 inch pan with parchment paper and coat with cooking spray, set aside. Lightly grease a large mixing bowl and combine the nuts, cereal, and flaxseed. In a saucepan combine molasses, honey, vanilla, and sea salt and bring to a boil. Continuously whisk the mixture over medium heat for two minutes. Mixture will become foamy and bronze in color. Immediately pour the mixture over the mixed nuts and combine. Pour the nut mix into the prepared pan and press firmly and evenly into the pan. Allow to sit for about 20 minutes. Lift the block out of the pan and set on cutting board- cut into eight bars. Melt the chocolate in the microwave on 20 second increments taking care to stir in between so it doesn't seize. drizzle the melted chocolate over the bars (or in my case smear it). Allow to set at room temperature or place in fridge for quicker results.
All of these recipes last for about a week or two in the fridge. Longer in the freezer. All should be stored in an airtight container. Happy Creating!
Sources:
